Saturday, February 6, 2010

Pre-Birthday Resolution

It's already February 2010.
Maybe it's too late for a new year's entry.
But now I'm writing for my birthday which is just around the corner.
Because I definitely won't have the time for this blog when I return to UUM, two days before my birthday.


I'll turn 26 this 21st February.

Sincerely I don't feel young anymore when I reach 24.
To me young is when you are still enjoying student life.
Young is when you don't have to really plan your life.
Young is when you don't feel that it is time to stop spending your parent's money and start earning for your own.
Young is when you thought that when you fall in love for the first time, it will last forever.

By the end of each year, I will always reflect on what I had achieved for that year and what test from Allah that I had gone through. I just want to know that I didn't waste my age for that year for nothing. I just want to know which incident that year was a test from Allah and whether I had really passed the test. This is my way of telling myself I am becoming a better person each year.

I love to reflect the chronology of my age from the very end of my student life:


I was 22 when I graduated.
I tried to find jobs but wasn't that lucky.
But at least I manage to start doing my master until the end of that year.


I was 23 when I join GREEN Programme in KL.
I decide to put my study on hold because I thought I'm still young.
Study can wait, but such opportunity for work experience doesn't always exist.
Something really bad had happen to me two months after I join the programme.

(You guys will learn more when you read the Is it Redha chronology that I wrote, which is not yet finished.)

Allah had put a great test to me in this particular year which I thought might be the hardest test I ever endure.
I didn't manage to gain work experience that I had hope for.
I ended up in Hospital Kuala Lumpur, Psychiatric Ward.
I was terribly ill till the end of that year.


I was 24 when I started to pull myself together after what had happened to me in 2007.
My life had become really suck.
My health condition prohibited me from going far from home.
I managed to get a job at a semiconductor plant near my home.
But I was so stressed with that job I manage to stay for only 3 months.
Not long after that I became a temporary teacher but for only two weeks, because I realize the profession was not of my interest.
Then out of boredom, I took a job at a Petronas station by the end of this year.


I was 25 when the sun started to shed more lights into my dark gloomy life.
I enrolled in master class at UUM by midyear.
I'm earning back my life.
I have become happier.

So, for this year of 2010 I'm only hoping for job.

I decide not to plan too much.

I'll just go with the flow of plan Allah had for me.

All I know is I'm finished with my classes this April and if I'm lucky, I'll be off to work straight away. If not I don't mind to wait a little longer as long as I will get a job this year.

What about marriage? Boyfriend?

I guess I had become a more matured person now that I let Allah take care of those issues.
I'll let Him choose, who and when.

From now on I'll accept whatever that will happen in my life.

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