Saturday, February 6, 2010

Pre-Birthday Resolution

It's already February 2010.
Maybe it's too late for a new year's entry.
But now I'm writing for my birthday which is just around the corner.
Because I definitely won't have the time for this blog when I return to UUM, two days before my birthday.


I'll turn 26 this 21st February.

Sincerely I don't feel young anymore when I reach 24.
To me young is when you are still enjoying student life.
Young is when you don't have to really plan your life.
Young is when you don't feel that it is time to stop spending your parent's money and start earning for your own.
Young is when you thought that when you fall in love for the first time, it will last forever.

By the end of each year, I will always reflect on what I had achieved for that year and what test from Allah that I had gone through. I just want to know that I didn't waste my age for that year for nothing. I just want to know which incident that year was a test from Allah and whether I had really passed the test. This is my way of telling myself I am becoming a better person each year.

I love to reflect the chronology of my age from the very end of my student life:


I was 22 when I graduated.
I tried to find jobs but wasn't that lucky.
But at least I manage to start doing my master until the end of that year.


I was 23 when I join GREEN Programme in KL.
I decide to put my study on hold because I thought I'm still young.
Study can wait, but such opportunity for work experience doesn't always exist.
Something really bad had happen to me two months after I join the programme.

(You guys will learn more when you read the Is it Redha chronology that I wrote, which is not yet finished.)

Allah had put a great test to me in this particular year which I thought might be the hardest test I ever endure.
I didn't manage to gain work experience that I had hope for.
I ended up in Hospital Kuala Lumpur, Psychiatric Ward.
I was terribly ill till the end of that year.


I was 24 when I started to pull myself together after what had happened to me in 2007.
My life had become really suck.
My health condition prohibited me from going far from home.
I managed to get a job at a semiconductor plant near my home.
But I was so stressed with that job I manage to stay for only 3 months.
Not long after that I became a temporary teacher but for only two weeks, because I realize the profession was not of my interest.
Then out of boredom, I took a job at a Petronas station by the end of this year.


I was 25 when the sun started to shed more lights into my dark gloomy life.
I enrolled in master class at UUM by midyear.
I'm earning back my life.
I have become happier.

So, for this year of 2010 I'm only hoping for job.

I decide not to plan too much.

I'll just go with the flow of plan Allah had for me.

All I know is I'm finished with my classes this April and if I'm lucky, I'll be off to work straight away. If not I don't mind to wait a little longer as long as I will get a job this year.

What about marriage? Boyfriend?

I guess I had become a more matured person now that I let Allah take care of those issues.
I'll let Him choose, who and when.

From now on I'll accept whatever that will happen in my life.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Is it Redha? (Part 4)

* Salam everyone!! It's been awhile since the last post I uploaded on this blog...Now that I have finished my master classes altogether, I shall try to complete this Is It Redha? chronicles.. Furthermore there's a friend of mine asking about the next sequence of what I'm writing on this blog, so here goes.....

At CIMB, I was placed at HR Unit-Recruitment Section. I should be reporting under Mr.Noel but since he was in Penang at that time, his assistant, Liz took his place. My office was inside Bank Muamalat building, the one which was only a few steps away from Masjid Jamek LRT Station. Below is the exact picture of the Bank Muamalat building:

I was so grateful to be placed here because it is only in walking distance from the LRT station and my apartment that I rented with few friends opposite Jusco Taman Maluri is also next to LRT station. I was so relieved with the fact that I only need to hopped in and off the LRT to go for work. Some of my friends who are not that fortunate need to switched up to three means of public transports in order to get to their offices; LRT-bus-taxi.

Ohh? I mentioned about my apartment? Well, it was in the apartment area just opposite Jusco Taman Maluri, Cheras. My apartment was on the 8th floor of the 7th block in that area, which was one of the nearest block to Taman Maluri LRT station. I only need to walk a few steps because the LRT station is just outside the fence of my block. About the apartment itself, it was partially furnished and when me and my friends stepped in for the first time, the paint odour was still strong. According to the owner, the apartment had just being renovated and repainted. How lucky we were!!

For the first few days at the apartment, all four of us slept in the living room because we haven't unpack and arrange our belongings. Actually the apartment was big enough to accommodate 10 people and at first that is the number of friends that agreed to stay in the apartment but after so many hassles and excuses, only 3 of them succesfully rented the apartment with me. I loved the apartment because it had a small balcony with sliding doors where I enjoyed the view of a small green field in front of my block. I just love the idea that the view from my apartment is not being blocked by the other blocks in the area. It give me some peace of mind having that every morning when I wake up, I will be greeted with the pleasant view from the green field and fresh morning breeze through the sliding doors. In some way, this reminded me of my rented house back in Sarawak. How I miss that lovely house.

After about two weeks sleeping in the living room, me and my friends finally decided it's time to be living in our own rooms in the apartment. There are 3 bedrooms. A friend choose the master bedroom and another two decided to stay together in another room. I choose the third room which was the smallest and has only one window because my stuffs was not much. By the way, the plan is I will be accompanying my friend who stay in the master bedroom so the small room is only for me to put my stuffs.

I remembered the day that I come back from work and started to move my stuffs into the small room. I was so tired that day but I couldn't be living in the living room anymore and I hate to see my stufss unorganised all over the place. So I decided I'll try to finish arranging my stuffs in the small room that very night.

And I should have known that I should never stay in that room.


Is it Redha? (Part 3)

My flight to KL will depart at 6.45 a.m. I arrived at Kuching Airport quite early but people already queuing up at the check-in counters. After queuing for quite a while, finally it was my turn to check-in and I placed my trunk (it was large and stand up to my thigh) on the conveyor belt to measure its weight.

Only then I realized I had forgot one important thing.

AirAsia will charge for overweighted luggages.

My trunk was too heavy and I need to pay RM100+ to get it into the plane.

I only have RM60 in my purse and I cannot go to ATM machine because I have spent all my money in my account for the flight ticket on the other day. My friend who sent me to the airport already went home. Even if she could come back to help me she will not make it on time as there are only few minutes left before the boarding time.

What should I do now?

The AirAsia staff at the counter suggested that I take out some heavy stuffs from the trunk to make it lighter and carry the stuffs by my hand. Hand luggages will not be charged. I quickly remove as many heavy stuffs as I could from the trunk that I think I could carry by hand including the iron. But then I had too many hand luggages and I couldn't carry them by myself. I need someone to help me but I know no one at the airport. Luckily I spotted a girl about my age walking towards the boarding hall. I quickly ran to her and explain my situation. She agreed to help me with the excessive hand luggages. Finally I placed my trunk on the conveyor belt again and this time its weighed just enough to pass from being charged. Thank God!

I and the girl managed to get onto the plane when it was about to take off. We nearly missed the flight. The stewardess stared at us with a pissed-off look as we walk to our seats. I thanked the girl so much for helping me out. We spent the time on the flight getting to know each other.

Finally the plane landed at LCCT. After helping me packing my hand luggages back into my trunk, the girl bid farewell to me. I never met her again after that. And I forgot to ask for her phone number.

I took a shuttle bus to KL Central. From there I took LRT to Cheras. After arriving at Taman Maluri LRT Station, I took a taxi and asked the driver to take me to Darul Puteri. But he doesn't know where it was. And I also made a mistake of misplacing the plan to Darul Puteri that I had printed out from the email they sent to me. So we began searching around the housing area. Then I recalled from the plan that Darul Puteri is a building with a green dome and there's a petrol station near it. We made several stops along the way to ask for directions from the passers by. The locals claimed that they didn't know about such building but there is a place for training commonly used by the Pandu Puteri. We guessed that could be the place so we asked for directions to go there. Finally we came to a building compound and I spotted a banner outside the fence - Welcome GREEN Participants! I was relieved. After paying him, I thanked the taxi driver for spending his time helping me find Darul Puteri.

I was one of the earliest participant to arrive at the site. The registration will start in the afternoon so I made some friends and we set off to Jusco which was not far from there to kill some time. From that day, I enjoyed myself so much at the programme. Here are some pictures of me with the coolest friends I ever met:

This was during the ice breaking sessions. We were put into groups according to the number on our ID tag. For this first meeting I volunteered to be the group leader. We named ourselves - "Alphians".

We won 1st place during Telematch organized by Sports Committee. Ever since then we keep on winning in every event organized throughout the programme. Other groups agreed that we have very good chemistry with each other that enabled us to always be at the top.

Chilling out together at a superbowl.

This was a play performed by our group assisted with some members from other groups. I had become the narrator for this play. This picture was taken when we performed during the closing ceremony dinner. The play was a huge success.

Our picture as a group together with the facilitators of the programme. This dinner was held at Saloma Bistro.

So, that was the end of the 2 months training at Darul Puteri. On the next day after the dinner, we were told to pack our things and prepare for on-job-training at GLCs. We were selected individually by the management team of the programme so we didn't get to choose which GLC we wished to go.

I was placed at CIMB.

From there the real journey began.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Is it Redha? (Part 2)

GREEN Programme was organized byKhazanah Nasional Berhad with the aim of reducing the number of unemployed graduates in the country. This programme is now known as GEMS Programme.

The programme begins with a 2 months in-class training where it will be held at Darul Puteri, Cheras (a training building regularly used by Pandu Puteri Malaysia). This is followed by 10 months on-job-training at various GLCs. Accomodation is provided at Darul Puteri for the 2 months training but for the following 10 months, participants are expected to survive on their own. Each participant is entitled for allowance of RM1000 per month to cover for their expenses during the 12 months training. Khazanah made it clear that they don't guarantee employment at the end of the programme as it depend on the GLCs. However, there is chances for participants who performed well during the on-job-training to be absorbed and secure a job at the respective GLCs.

After reading about the programme, a thought come to my mind.

What if I join the programme?

It's only for a year. I can defer my study and resume after I'm done with the programme. Furthermore, I couldn't wait until I finish my master because by then I will no longer eligible to participate since those with education higher than degree will not be allowed to join the programme. So now is my only chance. Plus they are offering accomodation and allowance so I guess I could go for it.

I forward this idea to my parent. I convinced them that my aim of joining the programme is to gain working experience and I'm not putting much hope to be employed straight after the programme since I will be continuing my study. They agreed with this since it's hard to find jobs for fresh graduate like me. They also said that I'm still young and there's no need to rush about my career. So I went for the interview in Ampang and secured a place in the programme.

Before I left for the programme somewhere in June 2007, there are few things I need to settle. First I need to clear up the second semester of my master study. Luckily the lectures finished early so my lecturer allowed me to sit for exam earlier. I also submitted all my assignments before due date and even skip my group presentation turn to be the first to present so that I won't troubled my group members when I no longer around. I feel sad to leave my classmates since we had become so close and I might not get classmates as wonderful as them when I return to continue my study later.

The second thing is to move my stuffs from my rented house to a friend's house. It's a hostel-like-building recently built in Desa Ilmu, Kota Samarahan, Sarawak where Desa Ilmu is just opposite Unimas (the old campus). The building compound consists of about six blocks and the whole area is fenced to keep off the outsiders and there's also a guard house at the entrance. I stayed in Block C where my rented house was on the 4th floor (top flour) and I rented it with two friends. I chose to stay in the master bedroom because I need space for my stuffs (I rarely send my stuffs home so they had piled up). The ventilation in the room was very good. The sliding windows was wide and since my room is not blocked by other building, I always left the windows open to let the breeze in.

One thing that I loved so much about my room is the clear view of the sky from the open windows. At duskI would stand by the window and enjoyed the sunset. Before I doze off at night I would lie on the mattress on the floor facing the window and gaze upon the sky full with stars. When I woke up in the morning the view of clear blue sky with white cottony clouds greeted my eyes.

At those moments of staring at the sky, I've always tell myself how fortunate I was to be blessed with such beautiful life. I have parent who had always been my best friends, I was born in a wonderfully happy family, I was surrounded with cheerful friends, I do well in my study, I was never short of money (although I come from middle-class family) and I got to do the thing I loved the most - roaming freely with my bike at anywhere and any time I like.

It's just doesn't get any better than this..

But the sun is not always up on the sky.

There's always a price you need to pay when you step out of your comfort zone.

And I'm about to learn more about that when I set foot in KL - for the GREEN Programme.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Is it Redha? (Part 1)

Walau kita dihadapkan
Dengan berbagai pilihan
Mengapa sering terjadi
Pilihan tak menepati

Hingga amat menakutkan
Menghadapi masa depan
Seolah telah terhapus
Sebuah kehidupan yang kudus...

Those are parts of the lyric of an evergreen song which I am not sure what the title was. But true enough, we face choices everyday throughout our lives. Having lots of choices is delightful to most of us as it increases the possibility of choosing the best option. But sometimes choosing not to choose can be the most appropriate approach in certain situation.

Is this some sort of what we call "redha'?
Which means accepting whatever Allah had chosen for us?

I've always convince myself that Allah knows what best for me in everything I do. Allah is my creator. Certainly a creator knows more about his creations. And He understands more about His creation than the creation itself. This is why we must not doubt or questions any of Allah's decisions on us especially those of not to our liking. We as humans can only plan but if our plans didn't work as we had hoped, don't ever complain. Always bear in mind that Allah might have better plans for us and that is why He failed our own plan. Perhaps our own plans will only benefit us in a short run while the plans that Allah had prepared for us last for a life time and suited us the best in a way that we could never imagine.

I don't really planned my life until I reached 22.
During my final year, I planned that after graduation I would go for master, then become a lecturer at Unimas, then get married and finally settling down in Sarawak.
Such a typical, straight forward plan for life..

Three months after graduation I don't do much except "menikmati hidup" (this is a funny phrase from my housemate).I spoiled myself with games, movies (from pirated CD), reading novels and my most preferred activity is wandering around in Kuching on my bike.
I love to "merayau" so much. Thank God snatching cases had not become serious at that time and Kuching was such a peaceful place to roam freely by someone who have less care for own safety like me.

Then in December 2006 I enrolled in MSc. in Human Resource Development at Unimas. I was the youngest student in the class but I don't have problem to fit in and the atmosphere of the class was so lively! I had to say that master class is more enjoyable as it is more flexible. The approach from the lecturers are also different as they encourage more discussions in the class. We rarely have normal lecturing. Most of the time the lecturer will only introduce a topic and then the discussion will start.

Everything went on smoothly until I finished my first semester.
Not long after I started my second semester, I found about GREEN Programme in the internet.

What's this?

And this is the beginning where my plan for life will not go as smoothly as I had hoped..

**Stay tuned! I purposely end this post in a suspense mode..hehe!

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Ilham Ilahi

Mungkin ini hidayah..

Mungkin juga hadiah dari Allah..

Apapun aku sendiri kurang pasti kenapa tiba-tiba aku buat blog sendiri.
Suatu kesedaran mungkin bahawa blogging bukan aktiviti mereka yang punya banyak masa terluang. Blogging juga bukan seperti diari walaupun aku dapati itulah yang ramai orang lakukan. Sejujurnya selama ini itulah tanggapan aku tentang blogging.

But then isn't it nice if I can use this blog to reflect on what I have learned in life and gain insights from others?

Bagus juga kalau dapat dengar pendapat orang lain tentang pandangan aku terhadap hidup ini.

Sejak dulu aku memang sedar Allah sentiasa uji aku dengan apa yang aku sendiri cakap or sampaikan pada orang lain. And trust me, it hurts the most bila terkena batang hidung sendiri. Aku pernah takut untuk sampaikan pesan pada teman kerana dah tahu Tuhan akan beri ujian.

Tapi bagaimana hendak tahu iman sendiri kalau tak pernah dan tak mahu diuji?
Bagaimana nak menjadi lebih baik kalau tak pernah mahu berubah?
Bagaimana nak belajar kalau tak pernah buat silap?

Jadi aku rasa tak ada salahnya blog ni gunanya untuk muhasabah diri aku sendiri dan kalau Allah izinkan boleh muhasabah orang lain juga. Cuma harapan aku blog ni akan sentiasa update walau sesibuk manapun aku nanti. Tak kira la dah habis master nanti ke, dah keje nanti ke, dah kahwin nanti ke...

Semoga Allah restui niat baik aku menjelang tahun baru ni..Amiinn..

**Cuti semester tinggal lagi sehari baru sekarang aku terfikir benda-benda macam nih..huh!